Husband Material

When You Get An Erection...

June 15, 2020 Drew Boa
Husband Material
When You Get An Erection...
Show Notes Transcript

What do you do when you get an erection? Use these 3 tips to bless your body instead of cursing it.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the husband material podcast, where we help Christian men quit pornography. So you can change your brain, heal your heart and save your relationship. My name is drew boa, and I'm here to show you how let's go today. We're talking about erections. If you are a man, if you have a penis, this episode is for you, whether you're single and you are using your penis for not very much except urination, or if you're a married man, and you're able to have sex with your wife. This episode is all about what to do when you get an erection. Because even if you're married and you get an erection, it's not like your wife is this vending machine who you can turn to as a sexual outlet whenever you want. Now, we all need to learn how to relate to our bodies in a healthy way, in a godly way. And especially our genitals. Most Christian men who want freedom from porn have a military mindset when it comes to their bodies and their sexuality. So if you feel arousal and you get an erection, either you feel like you have to fight against it or run away from it. And I felt this many times, and there've been times when reciting a verse from the Bible has been helpful for me and helps me control my body. And there've been times when I felt that urge and I've gone to work out or gone to take a shower and that can certainly help with controlling these urges. There's just one problem. If that's all you have, then it puts you in a fight against your penis and you feel like you have to curse your penis and curse your body. Just imagine for a moment, wouldn't it be awesome. If you could celebrate your bodily urges and desires and actually enjoy them without feeling threatened by them or without feeling like they're leading you into sexual temptation, that's exactly what we're going to talk about today. And by the way, your penis is not the enemy. Your penis is your friend and the part of your body that's actually leading you into porn is not your penis. Do you know what the largest sexual organ in your body is? It's the brain. So let's dive into it. What should you do when your penis gets hard? And your brain is bursting with sexual energy, three things first say, hello, greet it. Say, Oh, I have an erection and welcome it. So much. Brain research has shown that resisting an urge actually intensifies it. Maybe you've experienced this where you get an erection and you're trying to put that fire out. You're trying to fight against it. And it actually intensifies. You can experience paint for hours throughout the night if you're trying so, so hard to resist an erection, and this naturally leads to masturbation and often pornography, what if instead of resisting it, you could actually receive it in a godly way, in a healthy way. That's the first step. The next step is to celebrate it. Don't condemn it. Somebody in my private Facebook group, the other day said an erection is not evidence that something's wrong with you. It's evidence that something is all right with you. And I love that so much. It means your brain is working. It means your body is working. Praise God, your sexuality is this good, beautiful part of you. You can celebrate it. You can be happy that your body is working, that you have this ability one day, you might not have it. So celebrate it while you got it. And finally sit with it. Don't sit on it, sit with it. Watch my episode on urge surfing. If you want some more detailed instructions on how to do this, but the point is that instead of resisting this erection, you receive it, you celebrate it and then you pay attention to it. This is called mindfulness. You simply notice it. You observe it. Urges are like waves. They come and they crest and then they decrease and they never last for longer than half an hour. If you're actually allowing yourself to experience it until let it flow through this feeling will pass. If you let it in, if you let it go on, erection is not eternal. So how do you actually sit with an erection first? Just take a few deep breaths. Notice what's going on in your body. Notice where the sensation is located and how strong it is. Pay attention to how it rises and falls be with it, embrace it. This doesn't mean you have to give in to unwind sexual behavior. This doesn't mean you have to go into sexual fantasies. It just means that you're being present to everything that is within you. And I want you to know that your erections and your sexuality, these urges, aches, and desires are from God. They're evidence that something's right with you. We can say hello to them. We can celebrate them and we can sit with them until they pass. That is exactly what you should do when you get an erection. And at that point, you're free to respond to this erection rather than react to it. You might want to call a friend to connect and have some healthy intimacy. You might want to go experience some kind of physical pleasure to let your body do what it needs to do. You might even want to initiate some kind of sexual experience. If you're married. The point is this. When you take this approach of receiving your body and blessing it, rather than cursing it, you are free to choose healthy Christlike ways of expressing your sexuality. If you want more teaching from me on healthy sexuality, download my free ebook. Sexuality meets discipleship at the link in the show notes, and always remember my friend. You are God's beloved son in you. He's well pleased.

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